As FAU has fully switched over to online classes for the Fall 2020 semester, there is one question on countless students’ minds: “How are my TA and I going to mutually lust over each other now?” We at the Hoot met with experts to compile a list on how to “get it on” (digitally) with your teacher crush.
- Take Advantage of Online Office Hours: Many TAs are accepting online office hours via video chat. Before you start the call, be sure you have good lighting, a clean background, and a slightly slutty outfit. Ignore his questions regarding the class and try to move the conversation towards more personal topics. He’ll be 100% smitten and not at all annoyed as you subtly ask him if he’s single.
- Constantly email them: Have a question regarding the class homework? Email them! No question is too small. Never mind the fact you’ve already sent five other emails asking questions about the same assignment; it’ll only show them you’re dedicated, right? Make sure to subtly include some spicy subtext in your message: as you thank him for their response, casually let it slip how much you miss being around their “alluring eyes” and “striking bicep muscles.” He will likely respond with similar steamy messages.
- Be memorable: If this is a TA for a large lecture class, chances are they are constantly getting messages from other students, so it is especially important to stand out from the crowd. Do something that’ll make him think, “did she just ‘accidentally’ send a thirst trap instead of her essay on this Canvas submission?” Trust us, he’ll find this so hot.
- Light stalking is fine, actually: While there is on occasion a gray area regarding the ethics of online stalking, it is safe to say most rules have gone out the window these past few weeks. Don’t feel guilty when you reverse image search your TA’s Canvas profile picture to find his Instagram. Just think of it as you doing research and getting to know him so you can ask even more personal questions during your bi-weekly Webex meetings.
- Don’t be worried about coming on too strong: Many students worry about doing too much too quickly when flirting. If thoughts like these cross your mind, remember that your TA is, much like you, all holed up in their house with no one to screw either so you might as well go all out.