2015

Marina Aguirre

Madison Bakich

Joey De La Rua

Amy Makler

Alexander James Taylor

2016

Lenny Nicotra
Smash Mouth Roadie

Son of Boca Raton, Lenny is what you would call a bit of a spark plug. Most likely going to file for unemployment and apply for a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they give you the tools to be your own boss. Still wondering what the hell is on Joey’s head.

–

Wesley Chau
Enigma

Wesley is a Political Science major who showed up to one of our meetings and never left. He’s actually in the Writers’ Room as we speak, sitting there, in the dark, alone. This is all Wesley ever does. We’re not really sure what he does for food. But he’s there every meeting, ready to go. Some say he’s a robot, some say he’s a mirage. All we know is that he knows that we know that this is kinda weird. Not the weirdest one on staff by far, though.

–

Paula Harrington
Scary Looking but Good Hearted Alien

Born somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy, Paula Harrington somehow ended up on The Hoot staff and nobody really knows what to do about it. She has written some of the strongest material for the team, and we are not just writing this because she has a laser gun to our heads. The first letter of all her articles combined spell the sentence “D.E.A.T.H. T.O. A.L.L. H.U.M.A.N.S.” but we ain’t scared.

2017

André Heizer (Co-founder, co-leader 2015-2017)
President Kelly Connoisseur

André Heizer is a Communications Studies major at FAU who as a co-founder likes to refer to himself as the “John Adams of The Hoot,” but nobody really cares. He is using up all his 32 elective credits on classes that involve mostly knitting. You can read his stupid thoughts at @andreheizer.

–

Nicholas Palmieri (Co-founder, co-leader 2015-2017)
Chief 90s Correspondent

Nicholas Palmieri is an FAU alumnus who graduated in Film and is just another millennial statistic, apparently. He co-founded The Hoot and has been slowly trying to stage a mutiny against André. He spends his free time reading comic books and doing tech support for his grandma. Check out some 140-character statements that only he and a hairless marsupial indigenous to Norway find funny at @npalmieriwrites.

–

Caitlyn Kavaky
Resident Meme Queen

Caitlyn is a Management Information Systems major who identifies as an attack helicopter. She spends most of her time running dank meme pages, trash talking 12-year-olds on Call of Duty, petting many of her cats, and selling her soul to the online Steam gaming community.

–

Billy Peery
Resident Billy

Billy was an original Hoot member who then left us like a dirty little slut to volunteer for Hitlary. We cried for months about it, but we got over it– our momma taught us to be strong. But the universe is a twisted place and somehow one day we ran into Billy at a picnic table and I guess he’s back now?

–

Karim Aljandali
Cream cheese

He’s literally just a tub of cream cheese.

2018

Brandon Empsall
White Guy

Brandon is an Accounting Major who is attached to his calculator in a weird way. He thinks he’s tough enough to get into the Salty Spitoon, but hasn’t really tried yet because he’s still about 30% Weenie. Follower of the great teachings of Harambe, because his whole life is September of 2016. Kinda psycho but we try to ignore it. If you see him in the Breezeway, run.

–

ed52ed7abcc4799d5a90150e330bb345

Walter Munoz
Resident Fruit

Walter is the human name we made up for DJ Jebediah Luscious, who is a living, breathing orange. Luscious enjoys writing for The Hoot whenever Luscious is not on tour. Doesn’t understand why the game Apples to Apples can’t be more inclusive. No relation to Donald Trump. Give them a squeeze sometime: @OrangeBallSack

–

Aaron Todd Weinstein
Rock Daddy

Aaron Todd Weinstein is a Exceptional Student Education major who is secretly afraid of Halloween. His rise to fame is the glorious Rock Race we live streamed on Facebook that got deleted due to copyright infringement. FBI came after this chump and put his ass in jail, and now he writes all his material for The Hoot via hand-written letter.

–

Michael J Piranio
Irishman

Michael Piranio is an English major at FAU, and he can fit two whole donuts into his mouth at one time. Michael really enjoys singing songs in the shower, long walks on the beach, and advocating Y2K awareness. When he is not writing for The Hoot, Michael takes to the woods to hunt Bigfoot. Send him Nickelback lyrics at @ptime16.

–

Ruby Ramos
Magical Sparkling Pink Human

Ruby magically appeared to The Hoot in the same way most of our alien/food items do (who even knows?), and instantly was a hit due to her sparkling pink appearance. Although at first we were all obsessed, the sparkling eventually became a little much at meetings, and now we all have to wear sunglasses indoors like douche bags just so we can have a productive session. Admittedly, we all kind of like it.

–

Emily Moorehead
Cooler than you

Writer and graphic designer for The Hoot, Emily Moorehead is a widely known sophomore percussion performance major and hipster piece of shit. Also a literal meme God, MLE has seen every meme that has ever and will ever exist. When not producing quality meme content, mle can be found looking for “aesthetic” clothing items at goodwill, or at home playing her synthesizer, pretending that DIY indie music is “good art.” Catch her 3am thoughts on twitter @em_purplesocks

–

Eli Bamberg
Much Obliged

Eli Bamberg has never seen a Vine and he is incredibly proud of that fact. His humor is entirely based around the TV show Psych and the Austin Powers movies. The inspiration for the character Victor van Dort in Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, Eli is known for his knowledge of useless history tidbits and thinking he’s funnier than he actually is.

2019

Andre Bolourian (former co-leader, 2018-2019)
Editor in (Master) Chief

Commonly referred to as Beta Andre and incontrovertibly the most handsome Andre on the team. Years of being subservient to Alpha André’s draconian regime led Beta Andre to rebel. Vowing never to fetch another complicated Starbucks order for Alpha André again, Beta Andre formed a coup to usurp The Hoot (and accent mark). Though his campaign to dethrone Alpha André proved successful, Beta Andre still has to answer to him because he pays for the website. If you would like to call him a mean name, he welcomes you to do so at @AndreABolourian.

–

Flaviane Chaves (former co-leader, 2018-2019)
“Upcoming TikTok Artist”

Don’t know how to pronounce her name? Neither do we. Flaviane adds filters to her pictures and calls it photography on Instagram, and is majoring in Fake News with a minor in Spaghet. She has deep bags under her eyes from being woke AF. (We heard they’re Gucci.)

–

Brianna DeFalco
Radical Introvert

Bri, who unlike the cheese has been known to smell rather nice, enjoys her alone time watching YouTube videos and eating turkey sandwiches, but if you get her started on something she’s passionate about, she doesn’t know when to shut up. Claims to be an intellectual, but finds herself day dreaming about memes she saw two weeks ago. If you’d like to watch her live tweet about how the current state of the country makes her want to move to Narnia, then feel free to do so at @b_defalco

–

Adam Shkalim
(Chad)am

An alien from an unknown planet. Originally came to Earth with the intention of conquering its people. Unfortunately, the people turned out to be a disappointment so falling back on plan B, he enrolled at FAU. Despite being ready to leave the planet with his degree, he had become indebted to its people. The loan people, to be precise.