Joey De La Rua
Alexander James Taylor
Smash Mouth Roadie
Wesley is a Political Science major who showed up to one of our meetings and never left. He’s actually in the Writers’ Room as we speak, sitting there, in the dark, alone. This is all Wesley ever does. We’re not really sure what he does for food. But he’s there every meeting, ready to go. Some say he’s a robot, some say he’s a mirage. All we know is that he knows that we know that this is kinda weird. Not the weirdest one on staff by far, though.
Scary Looking but Good Hearted Alien
Born somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy, Paula Harrington somehow ended up on The Hoot staff and nobody really knows what to do about it. She has written some of the strongest material for the team, and we are not just writing this because she has a laser gun to our heads. The first letter of all her articles combined spell the sentence “D.E.A.T.H. T.O. A.L.L. H.U.M.A.N.S.” but we ain’t scared.
André Heizer (Co-founder, co-leader 2015-2017)
President Kelly Connoisseur
André Heizer is a Communications Studies major at FAU who as a co-founder likes to refer to himself as the “John Adams of The Hoot,” but nobody really cares. He is using up all his 32 elective credits on classes that involve mostly knitting. You can read his stupid thoughts at @andreheizer.
Nicholas Palmieri (Co-founder, co-leader 2015-2017)
Chief 90s Correspondent
Nicholas Palmieri is an FAU alumnus who graduated in Film and is just another millennial statistic, apparently. He co-founded The Hoot and has been slowly trying to stage a mutiny against André. He spends his free time reading comic books and doing tech support for his grandma. Check out some 140-character statements that only he and a hairless marsupial indigenous to Norway find funny at @npalmieriwrites.
Resident Meme Queen
Caitlyn is a Management Information Systems major who identifies as an attack helicopter. She spends most of her time running dank meme pages, trash talking 12-year-olds on Call of Duty, petting many of her cats, and selling her soul to the online Steam gaming community.
Billy was an original Hoot member who then left us like a dirty little slut to volunteer for Hitlary. We cried for months about it, but we got over it– our momma taught us to be strong. But the universe is a twisted place and somehow one day we ran into Billy at a picnic table and I guess he’s back now?
Walter is the human name we made up for DJ Jebediah Luscious, who is a living, breathing orange. Luscious enjoys writing for The Hoot whenever Luscious is not on tour. Doesn’t understand why the game Apples to Apples can’t be more inclusive. No relation to Donald Trump. Give them a squeeze sometime: @OrangeBallSack
Aaron Todd Weinstein
Michael J Piranio
Michael Piranio is an English major at FAU, and he can fit two whole donuts into his mouth at one time. Michael really enjoys singing songs in the shower, long walks on the beach, and advocating Y2K awareness. When he is not writing for The Hoot, Michael takes to the woods to hunt Bigfoot. Send him Nickelback lyrics at @ptime16.
Magical Sparkling Pink Human
Cooler than you
Writer and graphic designer for The Hoot, Emily Moorehead is a widely known sophomore percussion performance major and hipster piece of shit. Also a literal meme God, MLE has seen every meme that has ever and will ever exist. When not producing quality meme content, mle can be found looking for “aesthetic” clothing items at goodwill, or at home playing her synthesizer, pretending that DIY indie music is “good art.” Catch her 3am thoughts on twitter @em_purplesocks
Eli Bamberg has never seen a Vine and he is incredibly proud of that fact. His humor is entirely based around the TV show Psych and the Austin Powers movies. The inspiration for the character Victor van Dort in Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, Eli is known for his knowledge of useless history tidbits and thinking he’s funnier than he actually is.
Andre Bolourian (former co-leader, 2018-2019)
Editor in (Master) Chief
Commonly referred to as Beta Andre and incontrovertibly the most handsome Andre on the team. Years of being subservient to Alpha André’s draconian regime led Beta Andre to rebel. Vowing never to fetch another complicated Starbucks order for Alpha André again, Beta Andre formed a coup to usurp The Hoot (and accent mark). Though his campaign to dethrone Alpha André proved successful, Beta Andre still has to answer to him because he pays for the website. If you would like to call him a mean name, he welcomes you to do so at @AndreABolourian.
Flaviane Chaves (former co-leader, 2018-2019)
“Upcoming TikTok Artist”
Don’t know how to pronounce her name? Neither do we. Flaviane adds filters to her pictures and calls it photography on Instagram, and is majoring in Fake News with a minor in Spaghet. She has deep bags under her eyes from being woke AF. (We heard they’re Gucci.)
Bri, who unlike the cheese has been known to smell rather nice, enjoys her alone time watching YouTube videos and eating turkey sandwiches, but if you get her started on something she’s passionate about, she doesn’t know when to shut up. Claims to be an intellectual, but finds herself day dreaming about memes she saw two weeks ago. If you’d like to watch her live tweet about how the current state of the country makes her want to move to Narnia, then feel free to do so at @b_defalco
An alien from an unknown planet. Originally came to Earth with the intention of conquering its people. Unfortunately, the people turned out to be a disappointment so falling back on plan B, he enrolled at FAU. Despite being ready to leave the planet with his degree, he had become indebted to its people. The loan people, to be precise.