Andre Bolourian
Editor in (Master) Chief

Commonly referred to as Beta Andre and incontrovertibly the most handsome Andre on the team. Years of being subservient to Alpha André’s draconian regime led Beta Andre to rebel. Vowing never to fetch another complicated Starbucks order for Alpha André again, Beta Andre formed a coup to usurp The Hoot (and accent mark). Though his campaign to dethrone Alpha André proved successful, Beta Andre still has to answer to him because he pays for the website. If you would like to call him a mean name, he welcomes you to do so at @AndreABolourian.

Flaviane Chaves
“Upcoming TikTok Artist”

Don’t know how to pronounce her name? Neither do we. Flaviane adds filters to her pictures and calls it photography on Instagram, and is majoring in Fake News with a minor in Spaghet. She has deep bags under her eyes from being woke AF. (We heard they’re Gucci.)



Annabelle Graves
Actual Fetus

Annabelle Graves is a self proclaimed  “trendy teen” and plans to be an Education Major. Many speculate she’s twelve and she often claims she is completely over her emo phase although she can often be found in distant alleys jamming to My Chemical Romance.

Rachel Martin
Health Goth

Triple Virgo Rachel Martin, writer/graphic designer for The Hoot, is the textbook example of someone who is living their high school years during college. After dissociating for nearly a decade, they have found themselves taking a liking in high bass avant-pop and mean ASMR. They aspire to do at least one push up and to eventually have their existence validated.

Mattie Ralston
Awkward White Girl

Mattie is a Psychology Major and known overachiever. Between her 20 hour job, 3 organizations, and praising the Lord every Sunday she surprisingly has not lost her sanity. You can usually catch her with at least 2 large Dunkin Donut coffees running around campus. Check out her latest tweets complaining about graduating early, here: @mattiejane_005

Brianna DeFalco
Radical Introvert

Bri, who unlike the cheese has been known to smell rather nice, enjoys her alone time watching YouTube videos and eating turkey sandwiches, but if you get her started on something she’s passionate about, she doesn’t know when to shut up. Claims to be an intellectual, but finds herself day dreaming about memes she saw two weeks ago. If you’d like to watch her live tweet about how the current state of the country makes her want to move to Narnia, then feel free to do so at @b_defalco

Adam Shkalim

An alien from an unknown planet.  Originally came to Earth with the intention of conquering its people.  Unfortunately, the people turned out to be a disappointment so falling back on plan B, he enrolled at FAU.  Despite being ready to leave the planet with his degree, he had become indebted to its people. The loan people, to be precise.