President Kelly Connoisseur
André Heizer is a Communications Studies major at FAU who as a co-founder likes to refer to himself as the “John Adams of The Hoot,” but nobody really cares. He is using up all his 32 elective credits on classes that involve mostly knitting. You can read his stupid thoughts at @andreheizer.
Chief 90s Correspondent
Nicholas Palmieri is an FAU alumnus who graduated in Film and is just another millennial statistic, apparently. He co-founded The Hoot and has been slowly trying to stage a mutiny against André. He spends his free time reading comic books and doing tech support for his grandma. Check out some 140-character statements that only he and a hariless marsupial indigenous to Norway find funny at @limel232.
That Guy Who Vapes
Walter is the human name we made up for DJ Jebediah Luscious, who is a living, breathing orange. Luscious enjoys writing for The Hoot whenever Luscious is not on tour. Doesn’t understand why the game Apples to Apples can’t be more inclusive. No relation to Donald Trump. Give them a squeeze sometime: @OrangeBallSack
Aaron Todd Weinstein
Don’t know how to pronounce her name? Neither do we. Seriously, her name sounds like an exotic dessert. Flaviane likes to add filters to her pictures and call it photography on Instagram, and is majoring in Fake News. She has deep bags under her eyes from being woke AF. (We hear they’re designer.) If you want to see her live tweet her self-deprecating episodes, indulge here: @flavianevchaves
Michael J Piranio
Michael Piranio is an English major at FAU, and he can fit two whole donuts into his mouth at one time. Michael really enjoys singing songs in the shower, long walks on the beach, and advocating Y2K awareness. When he is not writing for The Hoot, Michael takes to the woods to hunt Bigfoot. Send him Nickelback lyrics at @ptime16.
Cooler than you
Writer and graphic designer for The Hoot, Emily Moorehead is a widely known sophomore percussion performance major and hipster piece of shit. Also a literal meme God, MLE has seen every meme that has ever and will ever exist. When not producing quality meme content, mle can be found looking for “aesthetic” clothing items at goodwill, or at home playing her synthesizer, pretending that DIY indie music is “good art.” Catch her 3am thoughts on twitter @em_purplesocks
Magical Sparkling Pink Human