Staff

Publisher:

ic0vNKTi_400x400André Heizer
President Kelly Connoisseur 

André Heizer is a Communications Studies major at FAU who as a co-founder likes to refer to himself as the “John Adams of The Hoot,” but nobody really cares. He is using up all his 32 elective credits on classes that involve mostly knitting. You can read his stupid thoughts at @andreheizer.


Head Editor:

11951393_1455918053150_8620327748696072435_nNicholas Palmieri
Chief 90s Correspondent

Nicholas Palmieri is an FAU alumnus who graduated in Film and is just another millennial statistic, apparently. He co-founded The Hoot and has been slowly trying to stage a mutiny against André. He spends his free time reading comic books and doing tech support for his grandma. Check out some 140-character statements that only he and a hariless marsupial indigenous to Norway find funny at @limel232.


Writers:

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Andre Bolourian
That Guy Who Vapes

Andre Bolourian is the other Andre on the team, who is commonly referred to as Beta Andre. When Beta Andre isn’t fetching Alpha André his coffee or dry cleaning, he’s studying to be poor as a Film major. If you’d like to make a threat against his life, he welcomes you to at @AndreABolourian.

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Brandon Empsall
White Guy

Brandon is an Accounting Major who is attached to his calculator in a weird way. He thinks he’s tough enough to get into the Salty Spitoon, but hasn’t really tried yet because he’s still about 30% Weenie. Follower of the great teachings of Harambe, because his whole life is September of 2016. Kinda psycho but we try to ignore it. If you see him in the Breezeway, run.

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Walter Munoz
Resident Fruit

Walter is the human name we made up for DJ Jebediah Luscious, who is a living, breathing orange. Luscious enjoys writing for The Hoot whenever Luscious is not on tour. Doesn’t understand why the game Apples to Apples can’t be more inclusive. No relation to Donald Trump. Give them a squeeze sometime: @OrangeBallSack

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Aaron Todd Weinstein
Rock Daddy

Aaron Todd Weinstein is a Exceptional Student Education major who is secretly afraid of Halloween. His rise to fame is the glorious Rock Race we live streamed on Facebook that got deleted due to copyright infringement. FBI came after this chump and put his ass in jail, and now he writes all his material for The Hoot via hand-written letter.

Flaviane Chaves
“Crisis Actress”

Don’t know how to pronounce her name? Neither do we. Seriously, her name sounds like an exotic dessert. Flaviane likes to add filters to her pictures and call it photography on Instagram, and is majoring in Fake News. She has deep bags under her eyes from being woke AF. (We hear they’re designer.) If you want to see her live tweet her self-deprecating episodes, indulge here: @flavianevchaves

Michael J Piranio
Irishman

Michael Piranio is an English major at FAU, and he can fit two whole donuts into his mouth at one time. Michael really enjoys singing songs in the shower, long walks on the beach, and advocating Y2K awareness. When he is not writing for The Hoot, Michael takes to the woods to hunt Bigfoot. Send him Nickelback  lyrics at @ptime16.

Emily Moorehead
Cooler than you

Writer and graphic designer for The Hoot, Emily Moorehead is a widely known sophomore percussion performance major and hipster piece of shit. Also a literal meme God, MLE has seen every meme that has ever and will ever exist. When not producing quality meme content, mle can be found looking for “aesthetic” clothing items at goodwill, or at home playing her synthesizer, pretending that DIY indie music is “good art.” Catch her 3am thoughts on twitter @em_purplesocks

Karim Aljandali
Cream cheese

He’s literally just a tub of cream cheese.
 

Annabelle Graves
Actual Fetus

Annabelle Graves is a self proclaimed  “trendy teen” and plans to be an Education Major. Many speculate she’s twelve and she often claims she is completely over her emo phase although she can often be found in distant alleys jamming to My Chemical Romance.

Ruby Ramos
Magical Sparkling Pink Human

Ruby magically appeared to The Hoot in the same way most of our alien/food items do (who even knows?), and instantly was a hit due to her sparkling pink appearance. Although at first we were all obsessed, the sparkling eventually became a little much at meetings, and now we all have to wear sunglasses indoors like douche bags just so we can have a productive session. Admittedly, we all kind of like it.