Absentee Voter Gives Up on Democracy Due to Lack of Sticker

Tuesday afternoon, FAU sophomore Stefanie Heagen decided to all-out give up on the democratic process due to the fact that she did not receive the classic “I Voted” sticker from casting her absentee vote. “Honestly, at first I didn’t even think about that damn thing,” said Stefanie. But once she saw the flood of photos of friends rocking their “I Voted” stickers on Instagram, Stefanie claimed that her world “started to crumble.” Five minutes and thirty photos later, Stefanie decided to call it quits with democracy. “I’m over it. I’d much rather have to deal with an absolute monarchy than have to deal with being a loser,” stated a changed Stefanie.