Absolute Speed Demon Shuffles Exam Packet Loudly to Inform Class He’s on Next Page

On Tuesday morning during his Spanish II final, absolute speed demon Reid Allen shattered the calm, quiet atmosphere within the classroom after loudly shuffling his exam packet to inform the rest of the class that he had been the first to advance onto the next page. Allen then reportedly smirked to himself and proudly surveyed the expressions of his classmates, all of whom appeared mildly annoyed and unimpressed. “Reid’s my name, speed’s my game,” said the hubristic speedster, remaining completely ignorant of the fact that he has not passed a single exam all semester. “I actually tried getting my peers to start calling me ‘Speed Reid’ but I guess it just never caught on. Sometimes I can’t tell whether I’m too fast or the rest of the class is too slow. Make no mistake, though, it’s not always fun and games when you’re as quick as me. All that time spent waiting for the rest of the class to catch up gets lonely after a while. I never asked for these powers.” Soon, however, Allen became stumped on the second page of his exam for thirty minutes and began to sweat nervously after noticing that a nearby classmate had reached the last question. Desperate to maintain his title as the fastest test-taker, Allen hastily submitted his exam with more than half of the questions left unanswered and exited the classroom with a satisfied grin drawn across his face.