At 9 AM on Friday, making a left turn signal with his hand, a cute little bicyclist decided to join the morning traffic on West University Drive at FAU. Although the endless series of vehicles behind him were forced to reduce their speed by 20 miles per hour to accommodate for this sudden change, the adorable bike rider didn’t notice, convinced he was one of them.
When honked at, the endearing little traveler would feel even more so like a car and rang his bike bell to join in on the fun. “I’m just a car trying to drive my way to the parking garage! I sure hope I can find a spot!” said the delusional but adorable bicyclist.
“Making a right turn now. Hold on — let me turn on my blinker,” added the bicyclist as he shot up his right arm and waved it back and forth to alert his fellow drivers behind him.
Although his heart was in the right place, the cars behind him were not pleased. “For fuck’s sake,” said junior Rebecca Teroback as she pounded on her car horn. “I’m going to be late for class because of this asshole! Why isn’t he on the sidewalk?”
When asked why he didn’t make use of the sidewalk, the loveable bicyclist simply answered, “That’s ridiculous, I can’t drive my car on the sidewalk!”
After a trek that spanned over forty-five minutes, the precious bicyclist finally entered Parking Garage III, where he proceeded to take up an entire parking space for his bicycle. “What a ride. Looking forward to taking the I-95 on my way home!”