With FAU’s Weeks of Welcome well underway for the Fall 2019 semester, the brightest and most charismatic of the university’s student body are hard at work, acting as shepherds to the flock of musty, terrified freshmen who have yet to discover the unremitting persistence of time. As they energetically attempt to win over the tuition of angry parents at 7 AM, all while sporting an impressive shit-eating grin, one can’t help but wonder: Are the orientation leaders okay?
Ask an orientation leader if they are of sound mind, and they will most likely tell you that they’re “fine” or that they’re “just tired,” but one glimpse into the cold, pleading eyes of these self-identified extroverts, and you’ll see that they are in desperate need of a good cry and a week-long nap.
Perhaps we’re looking too deeply into things and most of today’s working orientation leaders are mightier than we give them credit for. Maybe acting as a tour guide, musical performer, and babysitter to a slew of apathetic up-and-coming college students has yet to have killed even the tiniest part of their souls. Despite the constant backward walking giving them a warped sense of reality coupled with the humiliation of having to wear khakis in public, the orientation leaders are probably doing just fine.