Preliminary auditions for the highly anticipated Atlantic Idol, hosted by FAU’s very own Hoot/Wisdom and the Pop Up, began on February 11th. Since then, onlookers and auditioners alike have witnessed acts ranging from beautiful vibratos to absolutely fucking terrible flat monotones. However, nothing could’ve prepared audiences for last Thursday’s performance by one Charley Carmelio.
One of our reporters was in attendance that afternoon, and spirits were high in anticipation of the coming performances. As the crowd gathered around the Pop Up stage, Carmelio walked on with a blue letterman jacket, grey sweatpants, and all black aviator shades. Our reporter took note of the less-than-appealing outfit, and said, “Even though he didn’t look great, he exuded so much confidence.”
The crowd went silent as Carmelio said his name into the mic, following his introduction with, “Please, no applause during my performance.” He then began, to everyone’s horror, singing. “It began with ‘EHH ERR, EHH ERR,’” said an older audience member from the Lifelong Learning Society. What followed was an acapella of popular tik tok songs that seemed to last a lifetime; 10 whole minutes to be exact. “I thought I had died and entered my own personal hell. I’ve had nightmares of this happening, and it’s become a reality,” said another clearly shaken onlooker. Our reporter noticed a group of people doing accompanying dances towards the back of the lounge area. “F*** them for encouraging that godforsaken performance,” said another person, tears running down their face.
At press time, it was announced Carmelio was the only singer from Thursday night’s auditions to advance to the finale.