BREAKING: Clinton’s 33,000 Deleted Emails All Just Anthony Weiner Dick Pics

Recent evidence in the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 deleted emails revealed that every single email was actually just a picture of Anthony Weiner’s genitals.

“Hey Hills, check out this angle,” Weiner wrote in one of the 33,000 emails, which contained an attached picture of a low-angle shot of Weiner’s crotch.

“Look it’s my Gary Johnson lol,” Weiner wrote in another of the emails that the FBI spent months investigating, and which contained an embedded picture of Weiner’s reproductive organs.

“Hope my privates are safe on your email server haha get it,” Weiner wrote in yet another of the emails that contained an attachment of Weiner’s unclothed groin, which dozens of investigators pored over for a significant portion of their work day.

Clinton reportedly set up an automatic reply for all of Weiner’s emails, which simply read, “Anthony, pls stop. -HRC.”

The FBI confirmed that they found no evidence of criminal wrongdoing with any of the emails, which approximately half of the United States population chose to believe was a lie.