Campus Rec Set To Run In Next Presidential Election, “Dumptruck 2024”

A lot has happened at FAU this past week. Owlsley was found with 10lbs of cocaine, and his antisemitic tweets about “nipple Yamakas” resurfaced. FAU has been in a downward spiral since and needs their spirits lifted. That’s when FAU Campus Rec decided to run for the 2024 presidential election.

“I really do think that I am the right fit for the job. I work hard and put my passion into everything. And remember: Dumptruck 2024” said Campus Rec staff in an interview with a Hoot staff writer. Campus phones are blowing up with concerned parents as to why #DumptruckFAU is trending on Twitter.

However, students are taking this whole situation passionately, and are rooting for the Campus Rec. “The campus has been pretty dead since the coming down of Owlsley, and having one of our own run for office in 2024 gives us all the motivation to hop on the dumptruck 2024 train,” said Sophomore Candice Owens.

Protests held by student activists have broken out around local college campuses demanding that FAU Campus Rec resigns from the running. “It really is quite ridiculous to see that the lesser of the Boca Raton colleges is running for office when obviously, I am in fact the right fit for the position,” said Lynn University President, Kevin M. Ross in a public interview. The Campus Rec refuses to give an official statement in regards to the disappearance of Ross.