Super Senior Can’t Stop Reminding Everybody It’s His Last Semester
With the spring term having started, many students are preparing for their last semester at FAU. While excitement is common among these students, super senior…
Campus Life
FAU High Schoolers Can’t Stress Enough How ‘Okay’ They Are
After noticing how worried fellow students had become at their immense and stressful workload, FAU High School students made sure to stress Thursday how ‘okay’…
‘I’ll Check That Out,’ Says Friend With No Intention Of Checking Out Netflix Recommendation
Expressing a feigned enthusiasm that only a practiced liar could muster, local man Aaron Gaines, who has no intention of following his friend Eric Bernard’s…
Student Returns With High Hopes For Spring Semester, Drops Every Class
FAU sophomore Rachel Gomez, who previously had high hopes for her fresh start this spring semester, announced Friday that she would be dropping every single…
Masturbator Can’t Wait To Jack It While Roommate Sleeps
New roommate and avid masturbator Darren Doyle was reportedly staking out his roommate late last night in the hopes to score a quickie with his…
Oh No, Professor Is Making Students Get Into Groups
Displaying shocked and horrified expressions as they took their seats Monday, students from Professor Gilroy’s literature class were reportedly filled with dread after, oh no,…
Computer Science Final To Beat Game Of Minesweeper
Students in Professor Hammond’s computer science class reported Thursday that they are quietly beginning to freak out after discovering that their final exam is to beat…
Death Toll Rises In Bloodiest Blue Scantron Shortage On Record
There has been an upsurge of chaos at the FAU Boca campus during this finals week as the 2018 Blue Scantron Shortage has left students…
Freshman Brings Blue Loose-Leaf Notebook To History Exam
Sources confirmed Monday that freshman Rachel Adams brought in a blue loose-leaf notebook to her history final. “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal…
FAU Tobacco Free Ambassador Program Seeking Snitches
Since 2015, FAU has enforced a tobacco-free policy across all campuses with the hopes of creating a healthier environment for students and staff. In order…