FAU Band: “We Could’ve Given A Better Halftime Show Than The Weeknd.”
Dr. Kyle Prescott and Dr. Marc Decker, director and associate director, respectively, of the FAU Marching Band, released a statement that their athletic band could’ve…
Campus Life
Engineering Student Builds Jetpack, Injures Three
In the pre-dawn hours, atop Engineering East’s Rooftop Garden, a student begins his maiden voyage using his homemade Jetpack, named The Way. Prior to said…
FAU Weekly Random COVID-19 Testing Revealed To Be Program To Secretly Probe Students
This past weekend, it had been revealed that the brand new FAU weekly random COVID-19 testing program was actually a tactic being used by the…
Campus Rec Set To Run In Next Presidential Election, “Dumptruck 2024”
A lot has happened at FAU this past week. Owlsley was found with 10lbs of cocaine, and his antisemitic tweets about “nipple Yamakas” resurfaced. FAU…
Professor Who Copied And Pasted Paragraph About CAPS In Syllabus Given “Most Caring Professor” Award
This past Thursday evening, it was confirmed that Dr. Jane Jameson would be receiving the “Most Caring Professor” award for bravely copying and pasting a…
Dumb Stupid Idiot Throws Halloween Party In Dorm
It was recently revealed that this Saturday evening a local dumb stupid idiot from FAU had planned to throw a Halloween party inside their dorm…
Grad Student Only Able To Communicate In Exasperated Sighs
Well readers, it’s now October, and you know what that means: the FAU Bookstore finally has the textbooks for your classes in stock. For most…
Forlorn Student Constructs Fake Lecture Hall In Animal Crossing: New Horizons
This past Thursday, it was reported that forlorn junior Alicia Evans constructed a fake lecture hall in Animal Crossing: New Horizons to make up for…
FAU Announces Brand New Game Show: “Are You Smarter Than An FAU High Schooler?”
Filmed in front of a live studio audience in the Living Room Theaters, FAU is proud to introduce their brand new game show, “Are You…
Business Major In Sociology Class Has No Idea What Is Going On
Reports are flooding in across campus that midterm exams and midterm grades are in, and many students are unhappy with their mid-semester wake up call….