FAU Places Multiple Sinkhole Warning Signs Inside Of Sinkhole
Sources confirmed Wednesday that a sinkhole emerged near the Social Science building, causing FAU to immediately take action by reportedly “throwing warning signs to the…
Campus Life
Owl TV Produces Adult Parody Of Financial Aid Called ‘FAPSA’
In celebration of financial aid season, Owl TV has decided to display their love and appreciation for FAFSA by producing an adult film parody entitled…
Freddy Krueger Retires After Student Dreams Of FAU
On Wednesday, local dream-demon and Florida man Freddy Krueger announced that he would be retiring from his annual fall serial killings. According to the renounced…
Spooky Halloween Prank: FAU Closes All Parking Except Lot 5
Inspired by their failed attempts to advertise the capacity and reliable shuttle service of Lot 5 due to its considerable distance from most buildings generally relevant…
Wendy’s Closed Due To Ghost Sighting, Covered Up As Failed Health Inspection
Last week, the Wendy’s on the FAU Boca Raton campus was closed due to a reported failed health inspection. Further investigation has shown that the…
Confused Marine Biology Student Clarifies He “Would Never Step On Any Seal In Front Of The Student Union”
Puzzled marine biology student Mike Planter elucidated Wednesday that he “would never step on any seal in front of the Student Union.” This relieving statement…
It Happened: Toothpick Guy Chokes On Toothpick
Florida Atlantic University’s most notorious toothpick chewer, Jerry “Toothpick Guy” Park, was rushed to the hospital last Friday after choking on a toothpick. The incident…
Breezeway Longboarder Can’t Wait To Ram Into Your Ankle
Breezeway longboarder Ashton Schwanz could not contain herself with the thought of surely ramming her ankle-murdering wooden plank on wheels into a vulnerable Breezeway pedestrian’s…
Commuter Can’t Tell If Person Is Leaving Or Has Just Parked
Coming face to face with a pair of glaring red tail lights foretelling an uncertain future, FAU commuter student Claire Donovan’s search for campus parking…
Student Unsure If It’s Him Or Guy Next To Him Who Reeks
Twenty minutes into his three-hour world literature class, student Jeff Hansen began to notice a foul stench. Uncertain of the source, Hansen discreetly sniffed his…