Student Disappointed To Be Living In FAU’s Pre-Glory Days
With the constant construction and new campus organizations just beginning to develop, sophomore Devon Sim, student and aspiring poet, reportedly expressed disappointment Friday that they…
Campus Life
Giant Teddy Bear Revealed To Be Real Bear
Screaming in terror, local woman Veronica Hildago feared for her life Thursday when the giant teddy bear she received from her ex-girlfriend turned out to…
Girl’s Laptop Stickers Tell Everything You Need To Know About Her
With almost every inch of space coated with a variety of stickers, sophomore Liz Andrews’ laptop basically sums up everything that you need to know about…
Student Handing Out Flyers On Breezeway Becomes Monster He Once Feared
Junior Steven Adams came to the grim realization Friday while handing out flyers on the Breezeway that he had become the monster he once feared….
On-Campus Starbucks Baristas Admit They Have No Idea What They’re Doing
Eyes brimming with confusion, FAU junior and barista Jade Sterling issued a statement Wednesday on behalf of her and her fellow employees at the on-campus…
Rebellious Freshman Skips Class, Immediately Calls Mother Sobbing
Summoning all the courage she could muster, sources confirm rebellious freshman Elizabeth Williams skipped her Music Appreciation class Friday only to immediately call her mother…
FAU CAPS: ‘It Be Like That Sometimes’
With the beginning of the new semester, Florida Atlantic University’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) has reportedly begun testing out a new approach for their…
‘Now, Where Were We?’ Asks Professor, As If Anyone Was Listening
Wrapping up a long-winded tangent irrelevant to the lecture, FAU literature professor Andrew Cox asked his class Monday upon realizing that he had strayed off-topic,…
Breaking: This Man Ate Everything
Several students and staff members were appalled Friday when a man entered the Atlantic Dining Hall and proceeded to consume everything. “There’s no rhyme or…
Spaceship Building Remodel To Include Teleportation Room
Finally addressing the temporary fencing placed around the Social Science Building, FAU publicly unveiled Thursday the long-awaited blueprints to the Spaceship Building remodel. While construction…