I’m Sorry, But The FAU Pep Band Sounds Like Dying Horses
Multiple reports this afternoon have come across The Hoot tip line regarding FAU’s pep band – known for playing at every basketball game this season….
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Snow Owl: 10lbs Of Cocaine Found In Owlsley’s Den
FAU’s problematic mascot has found himself in deep water yet again. Over the weekend, Owlsley threw a party celebrating President Joe Biden’s inauguration. “It was…
FAU President John Kelly’s Sexy Photoshoot 2021 Calendar Now 50% Off
In a move hailed as unprecedented by university presidents, John Kelly has decided to give FAU quite the treat for 2021: a professionally-shot Kelly Kalendar,…
FAU Finally Addresses Issue: “We need to get the troops out of Vietnam now!”
Anyone that follows @FloridaAtlantic may have seen them tweet a rather cryptic message: As the FAU student body, the faculty, and us here at The…
“We Lit” Says, Governor Ron DeSantis As Florida Goes Up In Flames
Tis’ the season, and you know what that means: hot chocolate, the Polar Express, cuddles by the fireplace, and our STUPID tradition of decorating palm…
Owlsley Forced To Step Down After Old Problematic Tweets Surface
Multiple screenshots of tweets made by FAU’s beloved mascot, Owlsley, have recently come to light after a student shared screenshots of them on Twitter. Mere…
Missing Student Found Under Rock After Four Years: “Well at least we still have Vine, right?”
“So they lifted this big ass rock, and like, there was a gut-wrenching scream that immediately followed. I’m pretty sure the guy next to me…
How A College Professor Really Spends Their Day
Sophomore Andrew Graber made a groundbreaking discovery today on campus: he figured out how our professors spend their day at work, and he plans on…
Professor Who Copied And Pasted Paragraph About CAPS In Syllabus Given “Most Caring Professor” Award
This past Thursday evening, it was confirmed that Dr. Jane Jameson would be receiving the “Most Caring Professor” award for bravely copying and pasting a…
Student Comments “Wow, That’s Crazy” On Discussion Post
It’s that time of the semester again, folx, when the work begins to pile up, and from the freshest Bambi Freshman to the most senioritis…