Report: WAC Is Whack
A new report Monday found that Writing Across Curriculum (WAC) courses are indeed fucking whack, citing them as completely arbitrary in construct, selection, and content….
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An Open Letter To The Assholes Who Keep Taking All The Good Classes
Dear Assholes, I hate you. There are too many classes that I wish I could be taking instead of these shitstorms. I put so much…
World’s Scariest Haunted House Consists Of Every Test You’ve Ever Failed
The world’s scariest haunted house attraction has opened featuring walls covered in all the tests participants have ever failed. “I can’t do it, bro. I…
Heartwarming: Dad Makes Chicken Nuggets For Son Who Said He Loves Fat Nugs
A heartwarming moment was shared between father and son when FAU freshman Jared Myers posted on Facebook about how much he loves fat nugs. Myers,…
Weird Guy In Creative Writing Writes Poem About Boobs Again
Still apparently unable to register feelings of embarrassment, uncomfortable students reported Monday that their weird creative writing classmate once again chose boobs as the theme…
Student Uses Entire Month’s Pay To Purchase Textbook Written By Professor
After arriving at her Anatomy class Monday, FAU senior Jessica Frank found she was being required to purchase a textbook written by the professor and…
Report: Boys Go To Jupiter To Get More Stupider
A report published Monday found that boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Monica Rugby, head of FAU’s Department of Psychology, noted that male…
Man To Reserve Opinion On Film Until After Checking Rotten Tomatoes Score
Saying that the film’s dense themes and poignant social commentary would require time to process, area man Brian Hill told reporters Wednesday that he will…
Nick Gets New Haircut
After several days of unfounded reports, sources familiar with the situation confirmed this morning that Nick has indeed gotten a new haircut. Eating from a…
12 Unique Tattoos to Get This Friday the 13th that May Or May Not Mostly be Pizza
These are the top 12 coolest Friday the 13th tattoos to get if you’re really lacking a personality or are in need of some quirky…