College Republicans Organize ‘All Fridays Matter’ Protest in Response to Black Friday Sales

While most people were out shopping on Black Friday morning, college protesters gathered outside of a Walmart chanting “All Fridays Matter” in an attempt to bring awareness to the rising tension caused by calling a Friday sale the day after Thanksgiving “black.” The scene unfolded in the parking lot, where protesters came together to enlighten the eager shoppers about the damage their lack of attention to other Fridays was causing to the health of our melting pot nation.

“How could you spend money and support a mainstream media liberal agenda to promote separation and racial tension in our society?!” said Roy Olden, a senior at FAU who organized the protest, when asked about why the cause matters. “Don’t you see how violent BLACK Friday sales are and the tension they have created? People fighting, yelling at each other. Shoppers unite! All Fridays matter!”

One shopper commented, “Black Friday? Blue Friday? All Friday? Great. Will I still be able to buy a TV for six dollars?” as they rushed in through Walmart’s doors.

At press time, Olden was seen replacing the black pepper shakers in the seasoning aisle with “ALL pepper” shakers.