On Wednesday morning, a horrible, although completely justifiable, riot broke outside the office of FAU Biology professor Harold Green after he failed to report to his scheduled office hours. Unable to put up with the unfairness of the crime committed by Green, the horde of students bravely stood up against absent professors during office hours.
“I’m just absolutely stunned,” complained freshman Anna Jones, one of the participants of the riot that occurred this morning. “I mean, if you’re going to set office hours at 4:00 to 4:05 in the morning on Wednesdays only, at least show up for them!”
While the comment did resonate with many students at FAU, others were doubtful that this was the way to go about the situation. “I understand the frustration, but why a riot? Isn’t that a little excessive?” questioned junior Brian Samuels. Shortly after, a riot broke out around Samuels protesting the incompetence of students on campus.
According to local sources, Professor Green has recently been reported missing. The participants of the riot deny any responsibility in Green’s disappearance, but did claim that, “If he can’t show up to his office hours, then he doesn’t need to show up anywhere else ever again.”