Construction Halts on 20th St. As Developers Can’t Think of More ‘University’ Names

In a sudden move of desperation, development of new properties on Northwest 20th Street has halted due to a drought of creative names involving the word ‘University.’ With University View, University Park, University Village, University Apartments, University Disco, University Camp, University Mega-Mansions, University Spot, University Club, University Menagerie, University Springs, University Grove, University Crew, and hundreds more already taken, any potential future businesses are left with nothing. The last few lucky companies to secure “University” titles reportedly had to settle for names that didn’t fit their product, stomping over those who deserved the monikers. “If my hardware store doesn’t have the word ‘University’ in it, how am I supposed to attract students who would otherwise get their wrenches at Home Depot?” said Chad Tharok, who was hoping to open a shop under the name “University Hardware” before an Italian restaurant claimed it. At press time, the only name left unclaimed was “University Nickelback,” which is predicted to remain unclaimed.