Couches To Be Placed On Breezeway For Students To Enjoy The New Televisions

Following the end of this spring semester, construction of the FAU Breezeway is reported to resume once again, but this time to include couches for each set of newly-installed televisions. These couches will grant students an opportunity to further appreciate each television instead of merely walking past them.

The plan was designed by FAU engineer Dan Scott, who was also in charge of installing televisions all along the Breezeway. “I was tired of everyone walking past my amazing creation displaying important fun facts about Owlsley, some not even taking the time to look away from their phones,” reported Scott. “FAU keeps giving me money to burn so what better way than to add more character to the Breezeway with some movie theater couches.” Scott intends to take the crustiest old couches from the Living Room Theaters and cement each to the floor, providing students with an area to lounge between classes and longboarders another obstacle to faceplant into.

Many are excited about the couches, including patrons of the Student Union. Sweaty gaming champion and Student Union regular Gregory Tresh is one of the most eager for the couches. “It finally gives me a place that my smell won’t be contained,” said Tresh. “The TVs better have Smash Bros, though.”

Although FAU expects the project to only take a total of two weeks, the Breezeway will be closed for at least the next year, and inconvenient alternate pathways will be created to ensure students are late for their classes. Once construction is complete, Dan Scott will decide on installing additional concession stands along each set of couches or to build a second stadium.