Desperate Student Searching for Quiz Answers Visits Second Page of Google

At 11 P.M. Monday, thirty minutes before his Anatomy quiz was due on Blackboard, sophomore Brian Crawford made the despairing choice to access the second page of Google Search in the hopes of finding the corresponding Quizlet answers. Reports indicate that Crawford had done everything he could do to avoid entertaining the ludicrous idea, even going as far as redefining each of his search terms. Before long, the unfortunate reality of the situation began to settle, and Crawford knew what he had to do.

“Never had I felt so hopeless,” Crawford explained. “But then I remembered Rule 34 of the Internet: ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it.’ I figured the same general concept applies to quizzes, except instead of porn there are answers. It just depends how hard you look.”

After that stroke of astute reasoning, the distressed student was propelled to venture to the uncharted second tier of search results. It didn’t take him long to assess that this page yielded even less results than the first. “The only thing I managed to find was more disappointment,” Crawford recounted. “Not even a trace of Quizlet. The results weren’t even relevant, just a bunch of old Quiznos advertisements and an xHamster video of a guy in a Jimmy Neutron costume whipping his flaccid dick out and flopping it around on camera for eight minutes.”

Finally coming to terms with his failure, Crawford accepted that Google simply did not have the answers indexed. He then proceeded to boot up Bing and continue his fruitless search.