FAU freshman Landon Murphy, extremely eager to begin his Freshman year at Florida Atlantic University, has reportedly been preparing his supple butt cheeks for the spanking of his lifetime.
Reports from one of his college professors says he asked for the syllabus a month ago, before it was even prepared. “I’ve got a fresh pack of green and blue Scantrons, my iClicker2 is purchased, and my pencils are sharpened,” said Murphy. “If I don’t get the ass-slapping of my life, then FAU has failed me. So let’s make waves, baby!”
Murphy looks forward to all the crazy fun his orientation leaders promised he would be having. He is especially excited for Greek life, a bonding endeavor he says he is “yearning” for. “I know my new brothers are itching to give my tender cheeks a paddling,” said Murphy. “I’ll do anything, I’m their good little boy, and if I’m naughty enough maybe I’ll take a hard paddle to my bottom.”
At press time, Murphy was seen in a free orientation shirt with a massive Jansport backpack. He was found sitting next to the only other student in his lecture hall an hour and a half before class began, ranting about a paddle engraving Greek letters onto his soft ass.