EXPOSED: Mr. Crocker Revealed as Mastermind Behind ALEKS

Denzel Crocker, suspicious fairy hunter and horrible excuse for a teacher, has been exposed as the mastermind behind ALEKS. FAU Sophomore Aaron West made the shocking discovery Monday morning while desperately scouring the internet for algebraic calculators to help complete a topic on ALEKS, the math program in question which is seemingly designed to destroy a student’s will to live. Found on the twenty-third page of his Google search, a disturbing WikiHow article revealed his ultimate nightmare. “I still can’t believe it,” Stammered West, chugging a pot of coffee to make up for his all-nighter spent working on ALEKS. “You know what… I bet he’s working with our math teachers right now. He knew he couldn’t get to those fairies through Timmy, so now he’s after us.”  At press time, West was found sitting in a pile of dirty laundry whilst rocking back and forth in his dorm room, insisting that he no longer felt safe in his math classes and that he was completely sure that his own fairy godparents were no longer safe.