Failed Pitches Of 2019

๐˜ˆ๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ญ ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ 2019 ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ต. ๐˜๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ:

Cyber Bullying Okay If Directed At FAU Parking Twitter

Every student on campus can agree that FAU parking has to have some sort of vendetta against every single person on campus. What better way to take out their frustrations than cursing out the parking staff on Twitter. FAU parking has not commented at the time, but screenshots have proved that some far from nice words are being thrown out there and that FAU Parking should really, “go fuck themselves, and shove my citation up their ass.”

Nostalgic Campus DJ Canโ€™t Stop Blasting The HSM Soundtrack

Owl Radio reject and self proclaimed โ€œcampus DJโ€ Tim Tarmusch is physically unable to stop blasting the music of the Disney Channel classic “High School Musical” out of his speaker backpack – nor does he want to stop. Tarmusch claims that the films soundtrack is “godly”; it is the only body of musical work that truly exists and that any other type of audio which claims itself to be “music” is just deluding itself.ย 

Vending Machines Declared โ€œSelf Awareโ€ by FAU College Of Engineering

After denying students kettle corn after kettle corn and swallowing tons of hard earned student dollars, the FAU College of Engineering has run “Turing Tests” on all of the vending machines on campusโ€”be warned. They know something we donโ€™t.ย 

Move Over Thanksgiving, Itโ€™s Leave A Disgruntled Rate My Professor Review Season

As the end of the fall semester approaches, some look forward to home-cooked meals and time spent with the family. But most students? Most students are focused on completely annihilating that perfect 5-star rating on Rate My Professor with the most nightmarish tales about boring classes and poor grading possible.

Far Right Students Hold Peach Eating Contest, One Student Hospitalized 

FAU students that openly and vigorously show support for President Trump, thought it would be fun and creative to hold a peach eating contest unaware that “impeachment” has nothing to do with actual peaches. The supporters proclaimed that they would “Demolish every peach in America for President Trump.” During the contest one student named Don Rump looked to be the winner, until his eagerness led him to choke on a peach pit, which proved to be his pitfall.