It’s Bisexual Awareness Week and the surprises keep coming, as FAU’s Boca Raton campus has finally confirmed via Instagram that it is bisexual.
“In the beginning, all I knew were the rough footsteps of Air Force men marching through my halls,” the post stated. “But as time went on and I grew, I began to break down my walls and let women in, too. And I realized there was an entire side of myself that I had yet to explore.”
Some question the need for a college campus to express its sexuality. “I go there, I take my tests, I go home. Why do I need to know about what it does with its genitals?” asked senior Aaron Ludvich. The campus then lifted a floor tile to tickle Ludvich’s foot, after which he softly moaned and whispered, “More, baby…”
The LGBTQ community has been praising the campus for its frank words and courage in expressing itself. “No person or college campus needs to come out and it’s totally an individual decision,” said FAU Sociology student and Lambda United member Lena Morse. “But it’s so cool that the campus did. I mean, I definitely think it’s up to the individual to decide whether they want to come out or not. But all my friends and I are so happy to finally know that the campus is bisexual after speculating about it forever. I mean, yeah, it’s someone’s sexuality and there’s nothing more personal than that. But that’s exactly why we should all know.”
Ultimately, the campus doesn’t seem to mind what anyone thinks, instead determined to “live a full life on [its] own terms.” As the final line of its post read, “Everyone is welcome inside me. I know that now.”
The media storm surrounding the event is predicted to last until tonight, when it is rumored the United States Pentagon will issue a press release revealing its penchant for sadomasochism.