FAU Builds Second Floor Of Cafeteria To Accommodate Sudden Increase Of Vegans And Vegetarians

FAU has announced Friday that they are in the process of developing a fifteen million dollar second floor for the Atlantic Dining Hall to accommodate the unexpected rise of veganism and vegetarianism on the Boca campus. The new addition includes a fully-stocked hummus bar, a buffet of various bean burgers, and, of course, full heads of lettuce for when green students are running late for class and require a quick, on-the-go snack. Rumor has it that along with the hummus bar, there will also be a completely dairy-free cheese and chocolate fondue fountain as the centerpiece for the second floor.

Local Health Administration major and known vegan Collin Harper has spoken out about the news. “It’s about goddamn time they made a separate dining area for us. Being around meat eaters when they have ribs for lunch is about as disturbing as watching a pig eat its own sludge.”

Meat eaters on campus are reportedly very content with the arrangement. “Hell yeah, more room for us big boys who actually eat during lunchtime,” freshman and alpha male Ronald Young commented. “Now I don’t have to be reminded to eat my fruits and veggies every day by these pricks.”

At press time, construction of the second floor was reportedly canceled after administration concluded that most vegan and vegetarian students forfeited the lifestyle after two weeks.