FAU Desperately Places Cardboard Cutouts of Lane Kiffin to Fill Stadium Seats

In a last-ditch effort to amass an audience for Saturday’s home game, FAU administration strategically filled the 30,000 empty stadium seats with life-sized cardboard cutouts of Lane Kiffin. The idea, reportedly proposed by Kiffin himself, was also aimed to help FAU’s football team visualize what a sold-out stadium would look like. “I think I finally realized that what this team needed most was more me,” said Kiffin, adding that while manufacturing an order of this size might seem impossible given the small window of time, he was able to generously donate thousands of Lane Kiffin cardboard cutouts from his own personal collection. “When our players look into the stands and see my mob of cardboard faces beaming back, it’ll galvanize them into action and we can finally secure our first win of the season.” Despite genuine efforts from Kiffin and FAU administration, most of the cardboard cutouts still chose not to attend the game, opting to instead stand motionless outside of various food locations around campus. At press time, Kiffin was seen arguing with three of his cardboard counterparts as they tried to settle which of them was the real Lane Kiffin.