FAU Finally Addresses Issue: “We need to get the troops out of Vietnam now!”

Anyone that follows @FloridaAtlantic may have seen them tweet a rather cryptic message:

As the FAU student body, the faculty, and us here at The Hoot collectively scratched our heads in confusion, some took to twitter to ponder what the news could be. One @pocketfullofjimmydeanbreakfastsandwhiches said “I think they’re finally going to address the iguana infestation! #markzuckerburg #theyreactuallysmallpeople”.

But as time passed, an email appeared in our inboxes.

“Dear world, this has gone on for too long. This senseless violence need no longer continue. As a diverse body of people, FAU values the values of others. The decision to invade a country that just wanted independence from the French is downright wrong, and we can longer sit in silence as thousands are killed and displaced. Our message is this: We need to get the troops out of Vietnam now!”

As you could imagine, no one knows what the fuck FAU is talking about. The Vietnam War, which began November 1st, 1955, lasted until April 30th, 1975. If you’re keeping track, that’s 45 fucking years ago. This message was also tweeted on the FAU Twitter account, and was met with 100,000 comments that ranged from angry veterans saying whatever FAU is smoking is way stronger than the Agent Orange they used to kill crops to some commenters actually agreeing with FAU.

At press time, the tweet has been removed, but there has been radio silence from FAU. #staytuned.