FAU Fires Professor Who Denies Existence of FAU

Today, FAU Professor Jim Macy was fired from the university whose existence he refutes.

On his blog, Glorious Hole, Macy explains his feelings on the matter. “Folks, so long as they keep writing the checks, I don’t care. Since FAU isn’t a real place, they can’t really fire me. Therefore, they can’t stop writing checks. Because they don’t exist, see? But the checks do. In academics, we call this tenure.”

In the post that originally sparked the controversy, Macy explains that FAU has neither students nor staff. Instead, they’ve hired a cabal of crisis actors. “Most students are pretending to learn,” Macy writes. “The main difference here is that the student crisis actors are being paid to pretend to learn.”

When asked to give literally one iota of evidence for his claim, Macy chose not to, instead claiming that “the evidence speaks for itself.”

Many of the blog’s commenters have come out in support of Professor Macy. Commenter GodGunsandGooglyEyes writes, “U [sic] shoed [sic] thum [sic] foogot [sic] humosexual [sic] liburuls [sic] hat [sic] teh [sic] tru [sic] ix [sic] impirtant [sic].”

His blog has already grown popular due to his penchant for strange thought. Among his most successful articles are “This Twenty Minutes Video Proves that Obama is Actually a Jewish Scrotum,” “I Was a Slave Owner in a Past Life; Why Can’t I Own One Now?” and “ISIS and You.”

In that last article, he claims that he’s tired of people talking about ISIS. He doesn’t know what it is, but he’s certain that it’s another hoax by the “lamestream” media to herd the “sheeple” into accepting the “obvious deceit” that is terrorism. “Who they are or what they do doesn’t matter. What matters is the way that they illustrate America’s self-obsession. ISIS this, ISIS that. Wouldn’t it be nice to talk about WESIS, just for once?”

The Hoot will continue to cover this moron’s actions, because we’re pretty sure this isn’t the end to his stupidity.