FAU Parking Enforcement Officer Pisses On Car After Issuing Ticket

Sources confirmed Thursday that an FAU parking enforcement officer reportedly pissed on a car after sliding a citation underneath the windshield wiper. Witnesses reported the officer laughing and mumbling incoherently to himself as he peed on the hood of the car. The owner of the vehicle, FAU senior Flavia Kay, watched events unfold firsthand.


“He cited my car with me already in it, and that’s when I rolled down my window to ask why I was being cited,” lamented Kay, adding that she felt disgusted after realizing that the parking lot was prolific with yellow papers and puddles. “Then he whipped out his dick and pissed on my fucking car! He cited and pissed on everything. Even the emergency blue light was dripping and had a yellow slip stuck on it.”


At press time, Kay was fighting the citation through the appeal system that FAU offers, claiming she was not only parked in the correct lot but treated unjustly. The office of Parking and Transportation Services recently added a new regulation, stating, “Being parked in the correct place and getting pissed on by a deranged officer is not a valid reason for appeal.”