Sources confirmed Wednesday that a sinkhole emerged near the Social Science building, causing FAU to immediately take action by reportedly “throwing warning signs to the bottom of it and hoping for the best.” Several dozens of unaware students walking to class this morning found themselves trapped inside of the sinkhole and have expressed their frustration with the university’s less-than-stellar job of warning pedestrians about traumatizing events.
“These sinkhole warning signs are so good and there are so many of them!” shouted freshman Lucien Griffin from the bottom of the sinkhole. “Good job! But your boy is still trapped in here. This is just like that time where they placed those viewer discretion advisories within the same vicinity of the anti-abortion jumbotron. Do better. Send help.”
At press time, FAU representative Jeniffer Hultz commented, “The administration does all it can to serve and protect our students but we can only do so much. At least we have signs now. You kids are too sensitive.”