FAU Soon To Offer HTP1101, “How to Park,” As A Summer Course

Are you one of the many students who cheated on their permit test and never actually learned the rules of the road? Instead of spending all your money on essential items like iced coffee and thrifting, you should consider FAU’s “How to Park” HTP1101 course this summer.

HTP1101 is a course for any student who has done any of the following: parked severely crooked, hit a car while parking, hit a car backing out, and/or parked in two spots. “I understand I’m old,”said FAU President John Kelly, “but I’m not ‘senior-citizen’ old. I don’t need to go back to driving school.” 

University Advising has released a statement in regards to the ruckus: “This isn’t a driving course, just a way to scrutinize all the assholes who can’t park and fuck it up for everyone else.”

FAU Advising is already sending out letters of recommendation for the course itself. Prerequisites for this course include: parking violations, traffic tickets, out-of-state residents, and/or driving a Ford Mustang. “Most people are not quite adjusted to Florida’s fast paced lifestyle,” said Advising representative Kelly Washington. “Our parking lot is like a game of musical chairs, once the  music stops, you scramble for the closest open spot no matter how you get in.” 

FAU’s Academic Board believes that this course will combat the number of parking related incidents on campus. Board member John McGrath, in a prepared statement, said“With the implementation of this course, we are looking to raise awareness as to how to properly park, not just within our community, but as a whole.”