FAU To Build Beach On Campus

Unable to handle Spanish River Beach being a full twelve minutes from campus, FAU has finally decided to rectify the situation and construct an artificial beach on campus. 

It is reportedly expected to be the only beach in Boca Raton restricted purely to the students of FAU and will require Owl Cards to enter. According to close sources, the beach is planned to feature knee-high water and, for the betterment of the environment, will reuse sand from abandoned playgrounds throughout Florida. “We are committed to making this a beautiful oasis for our students,” said President Kelly. “We know how desperately students want to have more activities on campus during the weekend, so this is the best solution for everyone. There will, of course, be ground access added so that all of our critter friends are not left out of the project. After all, who doesn’t want to sunbathe next to one of our campus’ famously cute raccoons or ducks?”

At press time, sources claimed that the beach will be open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and weekends from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. To preserve the low tuition fees for students, FAU has decided to raise the number of freshmen that will be admitted each semester by 200-percent, with housing plans to be discussed after admittance.