FAU Wants You To Know Davie Exists

It was out of simple curiosity that FAU junior Evan Rogers clicked on a link that sponsored FAU’s Davie campus. “It looked like a cheaper, outlandish version of the Boca campus. It was like God disgraced the place and its students,” said Rogers.

While it seemed innocent at first, he soon found that all of the websites he visited redirected him to the FAU Broward County site, on the official page of the Davie Campus. Each time he tried to exit the site, it would come back. Every day would feel the same as Rogers was reportedly bombarded with ads left and right for Davie. “All of them feature the same image depicting this budget-ass FAU,” described Rogers.  

Davie’s unremitting need to be acknowledged soon interfered with Rogers’ academics, as even the classes he would register for contained Davie in their descriptions, “Seriously, why the hell are half of my classes only offered in Davie?” asked Rogers.

Soon, all Rogers could think about was Davie as he was driven to near-insanity, scaring his friends and family.  His roommate, whose name was asked to be kept anonymous, mentioned that Rogers would suffer from frequent night terrors. “One night, he was crying out, ‘No, Davie, no! Gas prices are too high; please don’t make me commute!’” stated the roommate.

However, in his dread, Rogers found some good within the shitload of bad, “Hey, there’s parking here!”