Female Student Grows Better Mustache Than Most Guys On Campus

November is a month of many names, including No Shave November, No Nut November, and Movember. One female FAU student decided to participate in Movember, a trend which entails growing a marvelous mustache.

“It has always grown in thicker than most other girls’ mustaches do,” commented Ash “The ‘Stache” Stetson, adding that it all began when she went on a date with a guy she met from Tinder. “We were bowling, and I made a few strikes. After the game, he said, ‘Wow, that was great bowling for a girl.’ I was pissed. So, naturally, I committed to growing a mustache, and now I feel liberated. There’s a lot of stigma towards women that grow bodily hair. My great-grandma was actually a bearded lady for a traveling circus.”

At press time, reporters asked Stetson to issue a comment on how the glorious mustache has influenced her dating life. “Strangely enough, I’ve been approached by a lot of guys. I don’t know what it is, to be honest with you. A recent date of mine uncontrollably giggled after we kissed. Must’ve been the ‘stache,” she concluded as she twirled the ends of her thick brown facial hair.