This past Thursday, it was reported that forlorn junior Alicia Evans constructed a fake lecture hall in Animal Crossing: New Horizons to make up for the human interaction she’s been missing all this time. Ever since its release a few years or months or something ago, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has been keeping students busy during the restless and lonely times of social distancing. This has proved itself especially useful to students who miss the normalcy of everyday life, including things like lectures.
“Animal Crossing is just like real college,” claimed Evans, lighting the final candle of her Tom Nook shrine. “I’m given meaningless tasks to accomplish, I can and do cheat on them, and I have to pay off insanely huge loans. The game was basically begging for a lecture hall to be built.”
Although nobody has joined her yet for a class because the student body isn’t full of fucking nerds, Evans has reportedly been enjoying the fake lectures on her own. “She stands at the front of the room, asks a question, and then moves her character to a seat and answers herself,” reported her concerned roommate. “I know we all have to cope or whatever, but this is pure denial.”
At press time, it was reported that Evans has since constructed dorms as well and is currently waiting for a fellow student to move in with her. Loser.