Fucking Creep Remembers Classmate’s Name

On Monday, FAU student Jennifer Bauman was unsettled to learn that classmate and fucking creep Philip Owen remembered her name. Disturbed sources reported that while the two did introduce themselves during an icebreaker game in August during the first week of Fall semester, it’s still kind of weird that he can recall her name all this time later. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy turned out to be the reincarnation of Jeffrey Dahmer,” said a visibly distraught Bauman. “I prefer it when creeps make an effort to conceal their creepiness. This guy was so outright with it. He just walks past my desk and goes, ‘Hi, Jennifer.’ What a freak! If he remembers my name, I wonder what else he remembers? I think it’s best if I just lay low for a few days while the police sort this whole thing out.” At press time, the fucking creep was heard referring to several other classmates by their names, even going so far as to call some by their nicknames.