Screaming in terror, local woman Veronica Hildago feared for her life Thursday when the giant teddy bear she received from her ex-girlfriend turned out to be a real grizzly bear.
Hildago reportedly broke up with her girlfriend Erin Jackson a week prior due to an argument. “All I wanted to do was prove to Ron how real my love is,” explained Jackson. “What’s more real than an actual bear?”
According to a witness on the scene, Hildago briskly attempted to escape as the bear gave chase. “I went downstairs to get a box of tissues, and see ol’ Paddington-Fucking-Bear staring down my sister,” said Bryce Hildago, Veronica’s brother. “It was about to break her like she broke Erin’s heart.”
Despite having escaped harm from the bear, Hildago ended up in the infirmary after tripping over a palm branch. “I never asked for this,” said Hildago. “I’m pretty sure we were arguing over whether or not we were actually arguing.”
Sources claim that the grizzly bear in question has been sighted wearing a trenchcoat and a top hat.