Hell Yeah: Student Nails Timing to Pizza Counter, Gets First New Slice

Sources are now confirming that FAU freshman Jason Bright unknowingly entered the cafeteria pizza line just in time to get the first slice of a fresh, hot pie. “It was incredible!” exclaimed an enthusiastic Bright. “As soon as I stepped up to the counter, a freshly baked pepperoni pizza appeared before my very eyes — cheese still bubbling and all. All I could think to say was, ‘HELL YEAH!’ This is honestly the best day of my life. I’ve reached my peak.” Eyewitnesses from nearby lunch tables reported that Bright had not been watching the kitchen to help time his arrival, and attributed his success to divine intervention. At press time, Bright was seen jogging up to the dessert line to get the first slice of a new chocolate cake. Booyah!