How These Florida Universities Would React to Being Asked Their Pronouns

It is becoming more and more common these days for college students to get asked what their pronouns are. Of course, this doesn’t mean there aren’t people that are opposed or confused about this whole pronoun thing. We here at the hoot asked the essential question: how would certain Florida Universities respond to someone asking for their pronouns?

  • This is the first time anyone’s ever asked UF for their pronouns, so they’re not exactly sure what to say. “The boy ones I guess? Yeah, the boy ones.” Good intentions, poor execution.
  • FSU would be on the defense right away, saying to never “ask them gay shit like that ever again.” Ouch. But what do we expect from the sparkling city of Tallahassee? Not much.
  • UCF seems genuinely excited to say it. “Thanks for asking! My pronouns are she/they, what about you?” Apparently, they recently started using they/them pronouns after some quarantine soul searching. Good for you, UCF! 
  • UM is adamant that their pronouns are nor/mal, and each time they say this they laugh as if that joke didn’t die in 2016. We suggested more accurate pronouns for them would be daddy’s/money, but they didn’t appreciate that, getting very mad at us for even bringing that up. Triggered. 
  • FIU just answers straightforwardly: “she/ella works just fine.” Crazy!  We didn’t know Spanish speakers had pronouns too. Who would’ve thought?
  • Of course, some colleges are going to reveal their pronouns with a bit of theatrics. Gender IS performance, after all. Rollins likes to look off to the distance for a beat before turning back to whoever asked, saying “ I do not wish to be perceived. But if you must know, I use they/them pronouns.” 
  • And finally, FAU, who’s honestly surprised anyone remembered them enough to ask! “He/him. I said it right, right?” Yup! They did better than Owlsley at least, who just makes bird noises whenever anybody asks.