Expressing a feigned enthusiasm that only a practiced liar could muster, local man Aaron Gaines, who has no intention of following his friend Eric Bernard’s suggestion to watch the sixth and final season of the Netflix political drama series House of Cards, concluded Monday that he will definitely “check that out.”
“I’ll get right on that,” said Gaines, who reportedly stopped watching House of Cards four years ago after the show’s second season. “I can’t wait to find out what cunning scheme the devious Frank Underwood has in store for us this time around.”
“It’s honestly been on my list of things to do, but I’ve just been really busy lately,” the unemployed 29-year-old college dropout continued to say. “Eric recommends the best stuff, though. I’m still looking forward to one day reading the copy of Watchmen that he lent me in high school.”
Bernard, however, remained unconvinced.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath on this one. Once, I told Aaron to watch Fight Club, and he later recited the entire Wikipedia plot summary verbatim in an attempt to fool me into believing that he had watched it.”
At press time, sources confirmed that Gaines had gotten as far as five minutes into the first episode, but, after careful deliberation, opted to rewatch The Office for the third time.