Lake Michigan Gives Up Title Of United States’ Biggest Lake To That One Puddle In Front Of The Library

This past Wednesday, history was made as that one puddle in front of the Wimberly Library took its rightful place as the largest lake in the United States. As many FAU students may know, there is occasionally a puddle that clearly takes the cake as the largest puddle known to man in front of the library. After those gentle Florida rains pour down onto campus, the natural dip in the sidewalk forms a puddle so deep students have gone missing within it. Thus, the puddle, which clearly surpasses Lake Michigan’s size, has been awarded the title of the largest lake in the United States.

“It’s truly awe inspiring,” commented student Elizabeth Hayes who had just taken a swim in the puddle. “The pool at the gym feels so manufactured and fake. This? This is a real experience to swim out in nature, to live in the wild.”

FAU Student Government has issued statements that they will begin organizing kayaking events to celebrate. There are also rumors of plans to install a diving board. Unfortunately, they declined to comment on what they will do when the puddle dries up.

At press time, it was revealed that the puddle in front of the library is now in competition for the United States’ biggest lake with those puddles formed by the sprinklers. More information soon to come.