On Thursday morning, Lane Kiffin and the rest of the FAU football program proudly announced the commitment of Azrael, the legendary Blue Eyes White Dragon, who is planning on playing on the offensive line this upcoming fall.
Fans everywhere are calling this an unbelievable catch for FAU, crediting Kiffin’s last-minute weekend recruiting visit to the horrific Graveyard Zone. There, he was able to summon the legendary dragon back to this plane of reality, leading Azrael to give a verbal commitment to play football as a token of his gratitude. This huge get by FAU has reportedly led to an renewed vigor within both the athletics department and the school’s administration that had been gone since the Pikachu era of FAU football.
“This is a huge get for my Kiffy-poo,” said FAU President John Kelly. “It is so nice to see my big snuggle-bear of a football coach going the extra mile, traveling to other planes of reality, and making waves by signing this handsome young dragon,” Kelly said while rubbing the dragon’s belly.
“PFHAAAAAAA,” said an equally excited Azrael.
At press time, Azrael declared a major in management information systems. Meanwhile, President Kelly and other administration figures are already working towards making FAU the first and only dragon accessible university, moving the Breezeway renovation end date out an extra twelve years.