A snowflake was found melted in front of the administration building on Wednesday morning. According to FAU Police, the ice water was a registered democrat, leading them to name the scene of the accident a steaming puddle of “socialist soup.”
Only minutes later, police arrived at the sweltering fourth floor of Fleming Hall, a building designed by Hades himself, just in time to save three other libtard pieces of frozen water particles that were about to melt into puddles of social justice. They were suffering of extreme dehydration, and were treated immediately for heat strokes.
“I wasn’t on the case, but I know these kids were suffering from liberal-snowflake-itis,” said Bonnie Smith, a nurse at Boca Medical who is a known conservative. “This is a condition that has been spreading to the youth, turning kids into literal snowflakes, especially those with a college education. SAD!”
The Boca Raton Lobby for Conservative Climate and Health, BRLCCH, has issued a statement as a warning to FAU, urging the university to issue a public curfew so less snowflakes will be prone to melting in the hellish Florida heat.
“We want to protect these snowflakes. We know they are very sensitive to heat,” says Larry Meine, the head lobbyist for the BRLCCH. “These students are melting. People want to worry about global warming, which is made up, but don’t believe these liberal snowflakes are melting in front of our very eyes.”
Upon further questioning, Larry made it apparent he didn’t know the effects that the rise in greenhouse gases had in insulating the very heat which was melting the world’s liberal icecaps and snowflakes.
FAU Administration has yet to release an official warning to students and snowflakes, issue a curfew, or issue a burn order for history books that might be causing these cases of liberal-snowflake-itis.