Local Idiot Records Iguana Like They’ve Never Seen One Before

Appearing dumbfounded by the sight of the green, reptilian creature commonly observed prowling around FAU’s Boca campus, local idiot Mason Owen reportedly recorded a video of an iguana with his smartphone Friday outside of Parliament Hall, as if he has never seen one before. “Look at the size of that fucking thing,” said the mouthbreather, uploading the fifteen-second clip to his Instagram story. “This one is way bigger than the one I recorded last week. Maybe even bigger than the one a week before that. It’s like fucking Jurassic Park out here, dude! Hey, what’s a good caption? Wait, let me think. How about ‘#JurassicPark?’ Yeah, that’s good. I think I’m gonna put this on my Snapchat, too.” At press time, sources confirmed that Owen decided to advance his budding career as a filmmaker for National Geographic by taping a video of a nearby raccoon.