New Dating App ‘No Homo’ Allows Bros to Experiment Sexually

Three months ago, FAU-based startup ForBros released “No Homo,” a dating app that, according to the app’s website, “allows bros to experiment sexually.” A recent article from the University Priss alleges that 32% of FAU’s frat houses have at least one member who’s using the app.

FAU’s resident frat douche Falcon Hawkmoon isn’t surprised by that statistic. After all, he’s certainly enjoying it. “I don’t have to say ‘no homo’ so much anymore,” Hawkmoon claimed. “My bros and I know it’s No Homo, because it’s right there in the name of the app. Now I can feel the sweet caress of a man without so much awkwardness.”

Other bros have taken to the app just as strongly. As ForBros founder Don ‘D-Swizzle’ Jackson explains, “Sometimes it’s lonely out in the world. When you’re sitting in your man cave, and you and your bros are drinking beer, well, it makes a bro think. When my bros run around shirtless, beer slipping down the crevice of their sweet, sweet abs, it makes me a little hungry. So yeah. I knew there was a market for this, because I was part of the market. But I just wanna be clear: this is not a homo market we’re trying to reach. Just a market.”

Last week, Google bought the company for an undisclosed amount. In the latest press release, Google Founder Sergey Brin said, “There are a lot of obviously gay bros out there. We hope to take some of their gay, gay money.”