New Mask Mandate: Everyone Required To Wear Face Coverings Except Your Hot TA

          As the fall 2021 semester begins at Florida Atlantic University, administration has changed the school’s mask policy multiple times. This past Tuesday, they’ve announced a new policy that they hope will satisfy student and faculty concerns. Now, all students and faculty must wear a mask for any on campus activity. Many are raising eyebrows at the small caveat to this policy- the one person exempt from masking up is Matthew Errigan, a Political Science major in his last year of his master’s degree. Matthew, who is currently working as a Teacher’s Assistant in an Intro to American Government lecture, has been credited for reviving student interest in the course, largely in part to his good looks. 

          The decision to keep Matthew maskless comes at the urging of the entire political science department. “I’ve never seen students so excited to show up to class” comments Professor Laura Snook. “All he does is pass out papers to the students, but they love it because it lets them get closer to that chiseled jawline they love. I think it’s why people are turning in their assignments on time now.” Many professors were worried that having the TA cover his face will result in less student participation.

          When asked how he felt about the policy, which he had not been consulted on beforehand, Matthew was ambivalent. “I mean, I’m really happy I just seem to naturally motivate people to learn about our government, but this is still a lot of attention to have all at once” he answered, his caramel brown hair glowing in the Florida sun. “I was still planning on wearing a mask though, since I still wanted to set a good example. But when I came on campus yesterday with my mask, an administrator approached me and said I had to take it off? So I guess it’s more of a mask ban on me in particular. I’ll just have to make it work.”

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