‘Now, Where Were We?’ Asks Professor, As If Anyone Was Listening

Wrapping up a long-winded tangent irrelevant to the lecture, FAU literature professor Andrew Cox asked his class Monday upon realizing that he had strayed off-topic, “Now, where were we?” as if a single one of the bored, absent-minded students present had even remotely been paying attention.

“How am I expected to remember what he was saying if even he can’t?” said junior Amber Torres, whose parents reportedly spend over two-thousand dollars out of pocket on tuition each semester so that she can stream Netflix in class and ignore her professor. “I think he was going on about Jane Austen, but then he got sidetracked and started telling us about how he spent a year in Wales or something. Like, I know I’ve been glancing up from my laptop intermittently and nodding along to whatever the hell he’s been babbling, but I didn’t know that I was convincing enough to make him believe I was actually retaining a damn thing.”

At press time, students looked on helplessly as Cox implored them to remember what he had just told them as it would be on their next exam.