Oh No, Someone In Class Group Chat Using Android

Appearing disturbed as they helplessly watched their sent messages materialize in green bubbles Wednesday, students from Professor Chutani’s statistics course were reportedly horrified upon learning that, oh no, someone in the class iMessage group chat is using an Android. “They are not one of us,” said a visibly unsettled Robert Walker, sophomore, as he apprehensively glanced around the classroom in search of the Android user among them. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but it sucks how we have to be so accommodating just because they decided to be different. Like, now I have to be mindful of which emojis I use because some Google enthusiast doesn’t have the latest version of iOS? Give me a break. At this point, we’d be better off to scrap the group chat altogether and start sending up smoke signals.” At press time, sources confirmed that students were impatiently attempting to decipher a split, out-of-order text message thread from the Android user.