Outtakes Jamaican Beef Patty Offended Students Keep Calling It An Empanada

After being commonly referred to as an empanada by students across campus, an Outtakes Jamaican beef patty is taking a firm stand against this injustice. “We are tired of being misnamed and stereotyped,” said the tantalizing meat pie. “I feel I speak for all beef patties when I say this is a cultural movement that needed to be made. We are not empanadas. We are Jamaican patties, and we need to be respected and recognized for our beautiful, flaky yellow crusts and our tasty contents that are like no other.”

A march is being held this Wednesday from 3-5 PM at the Housing Lawn to empower Jamaican beef patties all across campus to be prideful of their roots and spread awareness. Anyone supporting this cause, or has a hankering for a delicious pastry, is encouraged to attend.