Owlsley Demands Extended Summer Break As Part Of Contract Renewal

On Monday morning, news quickly spread that Owlsley may not be returning to FAU when expected due to a demand for an extended summer break as part of his contract renewal with the university. Within the demands, the mascot stressed that he felt “overworked” and “underappreciated” by his employers.

“I mean, when you think about it, there is only one Owlsley on the entire campus,” contemplated sophomore Brian Jones, who had been building a GoFundMe page for the equal treatment of owls in the workplace. “Of course he got sick of being treated this way. We all saw it coming.”

In response to the situation, FAU administration reported that they have no plans to comply with these demands, claiming that the only thing they saw coming was “a successful fall semester full of school spirit.”

At press time, a large-scale protest consisting of local owls who claimed to be in support of Owlsley was said to have formed in the Student Union.