Student Chains Self To Algonquin Hall: ‘I Will Go Down With This Ship’
After being informed about the future demolishment of Algonquin Hall, sophomore Lindsay Birkenstein chained herself to the dormitory Friday in protest of the summer construction…
‘Suck It,’ Says Graduate With 2.6 GPA
With commencement ceremonies taking place throughout the coming weeks, graduating senior Greg Daniels reportedly told a group of freshman to “suck it” while gloating about…
Top 5 Places To Take Graduation Photos On Campus
1. Algonquin Hall As many students know, the Algonquin Residence Hall will be torn down this summer to be replaced with a newer and nicer, yet…
An Open Letter From A Disney Intern
Hey Howdy Hey, folks! It’s your local Disney Intern here to tell you all about what I’ve been doing since January. See, it all started…
Total Nerd Actually Reads During Reading Week
Larry Abelard, a biology major and total nerd who sources deduce has no friends or family, actually reads during reading week, reports from those familiar…
Senior Can’t Believe There Are Still Two Weeks Left Of This Shit
With graduation approaching, senior Craig Shaw can’t believe there are still two weeks left of this school shit. “Four fucking years. Four whole years and…
‘This Is Actually Pretty Interesting,’ Says Student Who Finally Attends Class For The First Time
On a historic Friday morning, sophomore student Alecia Evans finally attended her sociology class for the first time this semester. Across campus, many students decide…
Sex Cult Found Living In Third Floor Of Parking Garage
Senior Bette Porter was driving out of Parking Garage I late Wednesday night when she reportedly found the confines of a sex cult hidden in…
Senior Decides It’s Finally Time To Stop Messing Around
The time has finally come for FAU senior Reiley Clemson to buckle down and stop messing around. Clemson decided that it was time to quit…
Local Idiot Records Iguana Like They’ve Never Seen One Before
Appearing dumbfounded by the sight of the green, reptilian creature commonly observed prowling around FAU’s Boca campus, local idiot Mason Owen reportedly recorded a video…