IVA Civil War: Battle For The Moving Buckets
The end of finals are approaching, but another obstacle stands in the way of some FAU students from finally getting the relaxation they have been…
FAU Student Fails Swimming Final, Dies
On Wednesday morning, FAU Senior Hanson Grey tragically failed his final for his Swimming 101 course, thus leaving him to die at the bottom of…
Senior Has Wet Dream About Graduation
On Monday morning, senior Biology major Aaron Castellano awoke to a large, white surprise from his wet dream about his upcoming graduation. Castellano discovered the…
FAU Administration: “Fuck It, Let’s Just Make The Breezeway One Of Those Moving Walkway Things In Airports”
On Friday morning, Florida Atlantic University announced that they would finally be making a very much needed renovation in the Breezeway: turning the ground into…
RA Settles Roommate Disagreement With New Thunderdome Policy
On Wednesday morning, senior resident assistant Janet Williams reportedly settled a roommate dispute by enacting the newly-introduced Thunderdome policy on the floor of the study…
Owlsley Has Existential Crisis: “I’m The Last Real Owl At FAU”
Earlier this Monday morning, Owlsley was found lying on the ground covered in owl drool and the tangy barbeque sauce of a weekend bender clinging…
Student Union Gives Free Weed To Anyone Dressed In Green For 4/20
The Student Union will be giving away free nugs of weed to anyone who shows up dressed in green on 4/20. Requirements to receive a…
Couches To Be Placed On Breezeway For Students To Enjoy The New Televisions
Following the end of this spring semester, construction of the FAU Breezeway is reported to resume once again, but this time to include couches for…
Freshman Business Major Buys Second Suit
On Monday afternoon, freshman business major Josh Braverman triumphantly left J.C. Penny with a new suit, making this the second suit he has ever owned…
12 Unique Tattoos to Get This Friday the 13th that May Or May Not Mostly be Pizza
These are the top 12 coolest Friday the 13th tattoos to get if you’re really lacking a personality or are in need of some quirky…