Not Even Professor Knows What This Class Is About
According to a recent investigation, FAU science class “The World: A Concept” has gone into complete chaos, as nobody knows what this class is supposed…
Fucking Creep Remembers Classmate’s Name
On Monday, FAU student Jennifer Bauman was unsettled to learn that classmate and fucking creep Philip Owen remembered her name. Disturbed sources reported that while…
The REAL Breezeway Timeline They Don’t Want You To See
The Breezeway has been under construction since 1983, but the Florida Atlantic establishment and MSM newspapers want you to believe it’s been under construction for…
Liberal Snowflake Melts on the Way to Class
A snowflake was found melted in front of the administration building on Wednesday morning. According to FAU Police, the ice water was a registered democrat,…
Edgy Freshman Wears FSU Hoodie
On Monday morning, daring FAU Freshman Eddie Huntington was spotted wearing a Florida State University hoodie while walking down the Breezeway. According to witnesses at…
FAU Desperately Places Cardboard Cutouts of Lane Kiffin to Fill Stadium Seats
In a last-ditch effort to amass an audience for Saturday’s home game, FAU administration strategically filled the 30,000 empty stadium seats with life-sized cardboard cutouts…
FAU Cancels Entire Fall Semester
This afternoon FAU administration announced via email that classes have been canceled for the rest of the Fall 2017 semester. In the aftermath of Hurricane…
Hurricane Irma Slightly Self Conscious About Size
On Saturday morning, Hurricane Irma began to show signs of embarrassment and self-consciousness over her large size. According to expert meteorologists, these signs include frequent…
South Florida Gas Tanks Not Used to Being This Full
Gas tanks across South Florida woke up this morning in a post-binge daze, still half drunk off the gallons of gasoline they had consumed the…
Lane Kiffin Registers All Campus Raccoons as Service Animals After Navy Loss
Facing the loss of FAU football’s first home game against Navy, Head Coach Lane Kiffin contacted the National Service Animal Registry to arrange for all…