Local Idiot Records Iguana Like They’ve Never Seen One Before
Appearing dumbfounded by the sight of the green, reptilian creature commonly observed prowling around FAU’s Boca campus, local idiot Mason Owen reportedly recorded a video…
FAU Opens Critter Art Gallery
Earlier this week, critters from all over South Florida scampered their way to the FAU Boca Raton campus for the grand opening of the Critter…
Desperate Senior Can’t Find Anyone To Sell iClicker To
With his final semester coming to a close, desperate senior Michael West reported Monday that he cannot find anyone to sell his used iClicker to….
Student Too Cool To Join Organizations Hasn’t Spoken To Anyone In Three Years
A recent report revealed that, among the junior class at FAU, one student had refrained from joining student organizations in hopes of appearing cooler, thus…
FAU Parking Enforcement Officer Pisses On Car After Issuing Ticket
Sources confirmed Thursday that an FAU parking enforcement officer reportedly pissed on a car after sliding a citation underneath the windshield wiper. Witnesses reported the…
University Press Ranked Best Publication On Campus
April fools.
Communications Major Slowly Losing People To Talk To
Senior communications student Jonathan Rodriguez reported Friday that he is slowly losing people to talk to. “Oh, my god, are you actually talking to me?”…
‘Shove It Up Your Ass!’ Says Student When Asked What They Plan To Do With Their Major
Earlier today, during a seemingly friendly conversation, senior Dani Erskine was asked by a recent acquaintance what she plans to do with her major in…
Four-Way Stop Turns Into Mexican Standoff
With all four vehicles arriving simultaneously before the stop line, sources confirmed Monday that the four-way stop intersecting Brevard Court and Indian River Street turned…
5 Things To Do Instead Of Paying Attention During Lecture
1. Blast music as loud as possible: This one should be easy. Just throw in a pair of earbuds, turn on the loudest music you can…