Student Who Submitted Online Exam First Wins Nobel Peace Prize
Sources confirmed Friday that sophomore Brady Thompson, who was the first student to submit the online midterm examination for his Intro to Psychology course, has…
Student Accidentally Joins Cult Instead Of Fraternity
Sources confirmed Monday that freshman Chad Stuart joined a cult that he mistook for a fraternity. Stuart had reportedly been searching for an on-campus fraternity…
Stoner RA Busts Self For Hotboxing In His Room
Indian River Towers resident assistant Bernie Lam reportedly noticed a strange odor Friday as he left his room to perform a quick hall check. According…
Owls Care To Give Out Free Bedding To Homeless Burrowing Owls
Amidst the prolonged rainy season, Owls Care stated Wednesday that they plan to deliver free bedding to the on-campus Burrowing Owls. Due to the constant…
FAU Janitor Revealed To Be Black Market Test Bank Dealer
After being caught cheating on her Anatomy exam, freshman Clara Long reportedly emailed her professor Friday claiming that she received the test banks from an…
Student Accidentally Sleeps Through Entire Fall Semester
One dedicated student is shocking many across campus by deciding to sleep through the entirety of the fall semester. Like many others, Mario Moschino, a…
Student Tries To Buy Plan B With Flex Bucks
Close sources confirmed Friday that FAU business major Jesse Fouglin frantically scrambled into the Outtakes convenience store in Innovation Village Apartments with his Owl Card…
Oh No, Someone In Class Group Chat Using Android
Appearing disturbed as they helplessly watched their sent messages materialize in green bubbles Wednesday, students from Professor Chutani’s statistics course were reportedly horrified upon learning…
Absolute Fucking Monster Steals Everyone’s Unassigned Assigned Seats
Over four weeks into the semester, students in a local Interpretation of Fiction class are struggling to grapple with some absolute fucking monster who keeps…
VSCO Girls Get More Aggressive About Saving Sea Turtles, Begin Eating Straws Themselves
Locked arm-in-arm by their scrunchies surrounding the on-campus Dunkin’ Donuts, a group of aggressive VSCO girls protesting the multinational company’s use of plastic and its…