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News April 27, 2021

Local Former Gifted Kid Accepts Invitation To Honors Society Just To Feel Something

This past Monday, a local former gifted kid accepted an invitation to an honors society at FAU just to feel something. It is common knowledge…


Commuter Life April 23, 2021

FAU Sends Parking Tickets To Students Living At Home To Mimic Campus Life

Even with campus continuing to open up as Covid restrictions loosen, there is still a large student population that is completing their classes online. FAU’s…


Open Letters April 21, 2021

An Open Letter From The Dirty Laundry In Your Chair

Dear Human,  I really shouldn’t be as surprised as I am about our relationship. Over the last year or so, you’ve been spending less and…


News April 20, 2021

President Kelly’s Sextape From ’84 Leaked Online

In what is surprisingly not so shocking news, President Kelly has had his 1984 sextape leaked. It appeared online Thursday night on a random and…


News, Op-eds April 14, 2021

Dark Past Explained: Nova Southeastern Reveals Its Name Was Chosen So Nobody Knows It’s A Florida School

Over the past weekend, it was revealed that Nova Southeastern University actually chose the name of its institution so that nobody would know it was…


News March 30, 2021

A Short History of FAU Blood Sacrifice

Once in a while here at The Hoot, we like to take a break from the breaking news to reflect on FAU’s past. Today, we…


Listicles March 29, 2021

How These Florida Universities Would React to Being Asked Their Pronouns

It is becoming more and more common these days for college students to get asked what their pronouns are. Of course, this doesn’t mean there…


Campus Life, News March 25, 2021

FAU, After Boasting Its Close Proximity To Beach And Nightlife To Attract Students, Claims Canceling Spring Break Did Wonders For COVID-19 Rates

This week, FAU administration reported that canceling its normal spring break to prevent the spread of COVID-19 helped drop infection rates considerably. Being the responsible…


Campus Life, News March 22, 2021

FAU Blames High Out-Of-State Tuition On Zodiac Sign: “I Can’t Help It, I’m A Virgo”

College degrees are really starting to become something that many students are actively chasing; however, in the case of FAU, out-of-state residents are warned since…


Campus Life, News March 8, 2021

FAU Issues Warning to Watch Out for That One Spider

Spring season is upon us, and as the winds of winter blow by, and the warmer air and rain brings back bugs, a fresh new…


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The Hoot is a Florida Atlantic University satirical news source. Completely independent and student-run.

The Hoot is in no way associated with Florida Atlantic University. All published content is meant solely for entertainment purposes.
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