‘K Sent from my iPhone’ Replies Professor to Student’s 3,000 Word Makeup Final Plea
A student became puzzled on Wednesday night after her professor responded to her 3,000 word makeup final request with an email that simply said “K”. Student Jenifer…
Student Absent All Semester Bravely Takes Final Exam
In a remarkable display of courage Tuesday, FAU freshman Wyatt Graham attended his Calculus 101 final despite having been absent for the entire semester. “The…
Student Caught Snacking on Bacon in Hillel Jewish Center
The normally vacant Hillel Jewish Center has been overflowing with students cramming for finals week, including accounting student Stefani Eryn, who committed one of the…
Student Surprised Hand Didn’t Stop Bus from Ramming Into Her
On Friday morning, FAU sophomore and Boca native Trish Williams was shocked when a fast moving bus rammed into her even though she put her…
Innocent Professor Unsure Why So Many Students Absent Today
Dr. Mary-Jane Reefer could not figure out why even her most prized students did not come to class on Thursday morning, April 20th, 2017. “Most…
Local Band in Need of Guitarist, Bassist, Drummer, Synth Player, Singer, and Manager
Zach Hill, a sophomore English and Education major at FAU, has been advertising his need for a guitarist, bassist, drummer, synth player, singer, and manager…
Commuter Student Wakes 2 Minutes Later Than Usual, Stays Home
Commuter student Irma Latite decided to stay home Monday morning and skip class for the third time this week after missing her alarm by two…
Jesus: Good Friday was ‘Aight.’
In an exclusive interview with Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God revealed that Good Friday was, in fact, not very good. “Amen, amen, I…
Waka Flocka Flame to Perform Entire Concert in Walmart $5 Discount Bin
Waka Flocka will be rolling many thing this Wednesday, but most importantly, he’ll be rolling back prices. A leaked FAU SGA itinerary of Wednesday’s concert…
‘Don’t Worry About That,’ Says Campus Tour Guide Dismissively While Leading Group Past Pit Of Lost Souls
While escorting a group of visitors around the Boca Raton campus Monday, FAU tour guide Brett Michaelson was quick to dispel any concern upon approaching…